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Friends, I'm Trying to Keep In Touch

Hello, friends!

I feel like the only thing worse than spending 85% of your life on social media is talking constantly about the fact that you are no longer spending 85% of your life on social media. However, I must explain that, since deciding to take a break from Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, I have realized that those platforms allowed me to have a sense of social connection without much actual social connection. It is easy to feel connected to someone when you see the mundane details of their existence on Instagram Stories, watch them have mental breakdowns on Twitter, and read the articles they share on Facebook. Without those sources of information on my friends' lives, I began to realize that I hadn't actually been talking to that many people. Despite interacting with friends on Twitter, responding to their Instagram stories, and participating in conversations in Soka's sketch comedy club's group chat, I wasn't spending much time cultivating my friendships with other people at all.

So, I have been trying to connect with other people more often. My current rule is that I have to email at least one new person once I have cleared out my inbox. This rule has presented me with an unexpected problem. Since it's been so long since I was actively reaching out to people, I struggle to remember who my friends are. I sit down and say "I need to email a friend," and then find myself wracking my brain to name a friend that I can email. Please enjoy this list of Thought Exercises for Remembering Who Your Friends Are:
  • Imagine that you are going to a rehearsal or club meeting. Who do you sit next to? Who are you excited to see there?
  • Remember a shift you worked. Who did you talk to? Who did you wish was there? Who do you miss seeing at work?
  • Visualize yourself walking into the cafeteria. Who do you sit next to? If possible, try to think of someone who you always have a good conversation with, and email that person.
  • Think about scrolling through your social media feed or watching someone's Instagram stories. Whose posts do you comment on? Which stories are you replying to? Who do you want to hear more from after reading their posts?
Another challenge of using email as a primary form of communication is that social emails rarely receive a response. I have two friends that I communicate with regularly via email, and then lots of people that never respond to the initial email I send them. This phenomenon makes complete sense! Email is a method of communication that is frequently associated with academic and professional scenarios. My friendly emails don't carry the same urgency as an important email from a professor or supervisor. Long-form communication isn't nearly as easy to respond to as a quick social media message. I try to keep my emails on the shorter end, but, since I haven't talked to many of these people for months, there is a lot to discuss. I don't want my emails to feel like an obligation that people must fulfill, so I'm trying to think of better, non-social media ways to contact my friends.

I hope that you are doing well, and that you and your loved ones are safe and healthy.

Best wishes,
Lydia

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