Slanted Rays

In my past two blog posts, I have explored the connections between creativity and failure. In the first blog post , we examined how creative failures can contribute to creative successes. In the second , I used my own experience during COVID-19 to discuss how systemic failure can impact creativity. Throughout my writing of this series, I have been thinking about how I view my own work. My written work begins in elementary school and continues to today. Many of the words that I have written are captured in a series of journals that lives in my closet. These journals could be perceived as artistic failures, but they are personal successes; within their pages, I found a way to express my emotions without causing harm to myself or others. Yes, the writing is cloying, imperfect, and amateurish, but the goal of personal expression is not perfection. My academic writing has improved steadily, and, in terms of written quality, includes many successes. However, many of my essays come from an at...

On March 1, unaware of how much my life was about to change, I bought a watercolor set, a sketchbook, and brushes from Walmart. The signs of the apocalypse were ever-present; toilet paper and tissues were nearly sold out, and many customers were stocking up on dry goods. But, back in the art, crafts, and toys section, there were no signs that a pandemic was about to encroach on our freedom of movement. Children ran around and played. Not a single art supply was out of stock. At first, my art creation was barely affected by COVID-19. We were in the before times then. I wasn't entirely unconcerned about the virus, but I had more immediate concerns to worry about. I was a stage manager/co-director for Soka's upcoming musical, a Performing Arts Center employee, and a busy senior working on Capstone. I shoved time for creativity into the gaps between rehearsal, sleep, and class. My life was full of worry. And then, everything escalated.  On Tuesday, March 10, we found out that class...

I am backstage at my job as a stage technician. Tonight's performance is an opera showcase. Opera is an infinitely elaborate art, even for a smaller showcase like this one. Performers wear intricate costumes and sing to large audiences without the aid of a microphone. Meanwhile, a screen above their heads displays the English translation of the songs they are singing. The songs themselves require a high degree of technical perfection. When someone is operatically trained, you should expect precision, volume, and evocative singing. Personally, I love opera. I enjoy the campiness of musical theater, but I struggle to appreciate the cloying sound of ever so many musical theater songs. Opera takes the gaudiness and fanfare of a musical and combines it with the beauty of classical music. For me, this show was a rare opportunity to enjoy opera music live. My job was to escort opera performers to their entrances, an unglamorous task that still made me feel like a valuable contribu...

In the midst of this chaos, I have been doing daily check-ins with my Facebook friends for the past week. While I consider Facebook the most evil of my social media platforms, Facebook is where I am connected to the greatest number of people that I know in real life. If you, dear reader, happen to not be connected with me on Facebook, I invite you to check in using the comments below this post. For the sake of "posterity" and "documenting the moment", I am using this page to document my first week of Facebook check-ins. March 22, 2020 Hello, friends!         I would like to start doing daily check-ins on Facebook. Social isolation and returning home from Soka has separated me from many of you, and I want to hear about how your lives are going.      At camp, we formulate our small group check-ins by doing Rose (good thing)-Thorn (bad thing)-Rose (another good thing. People who cannot think of more than one Rose can offer an Elephant (some...

On Tuesday, Soka announced that classes would be canceled for the rest of the week, and, when we returned from spring break, our classes would be entirely online to limit the spread of COVID-19. I called my mom, and asked if my parents wanted me back home. Yesterday, the Performing Arts Center announced that the Performing Arts Center was canceling or postponing all productions for the rest of the season. This decision ended Soka's production of Heathers, which I have been working tirelessly on as a stage manager, Theatre Arts Club treasurer, and one of three codirectors, and effectively ended my job as a stage technician. Without any reason to stay on campus, I called my mom again, and we planned for me to be picked up early Saturday afternoon. Today, our university president announced that all students need to move out by March 27th. In effect, my senior year has come to an abrupt end. I called my dad and explained that, instead of leaving for a few weeks, I would be mo...

Hello! On Saturday, February 1, Soka had its first Students of Color Conference. Our university has been having a campus-wide conversation about race that is centered around the student movement for ethnic studies. As a white student, I was there to listen and learn, and not to participate. As the writer of a personal blog, I am not writing this blog post to create a journalistic account of this event. Instead, I want to reflect on my own experience, make use of my 10 pages of notes, and re-establish the habit of writing on topics other than my Capstone. For a more journalistic account, I highly recommend Casey Chaffin's article on the conference for The Pearl, Soka's student newspaper. On the Pearl's website, you can find many other articles (such as this one from Abbie Malabuyoc) to get you up to speed on the student movement. The day started off at 9 AM with a panel called "Students of Color and Scholar Activism in the Struggle for World Freedom" with fou...

Hello! I keep on being too busy to finish this blog post. As time has passed, my life has continued on, leaving me with an increasing number of thoughts to write about here. Prepare yourself, dear reader, for a long and relatively optimistic blog post. This Thanksgiving break was my first Thanksgiving without my immediate family. While I ultimately chose to stay at Soka for the Thanksgiving holiday, it was impractical to return home because of circumstances outside of my control. Initially, I thought "Oh, yeah, this will be totally fine! I'll work on Capstone, maybe do some academic work...". Then, Wednesday afternoon hit and I thought "Now what?". I spent Thanksgiving Day cleaning my room and relaxing. I missed the smell of the turkey, the constantly playing Thanksgiving Day programming, and time with my family. Fortunately, my Thanksgiving turned around when I went to dinner. I spent two hours eating American Turkey Day classics and chatting with my fr...