Thanksgiving, Finals Week, and Writing Ruminations

Hello!

I keep on being too busy to finish this blog post. As time has passed, my life has continued on, leaving me with an increasing number of thoughts to write about here. Prepare yourself, dear reader, for a long and relatively optimistic blog post.

This Thanksgiving break was my first Thanksgiving without my immediate family. While I ultimately chose to stay at Soka for the Thanksgiving holiday, it was impractical to return home because of circumstances outside of my control. Initially, I thought "Oh, yeah, this will be totally fine! I'll work on Capstone, maybe do some academic work...". Then, Wednesday afternoon hit and I thought "Now what?". I spent Thanksgiving Day cleaning my room and relaxing. I missed the smell of the turkey, the constantly playing Thanksgiving Day programming, and time with my family.

Fortunately, my Thanksgiving turned around when I went to dinner. I spent two hours eating American Turkey Day classics and chatting with my friends. After dinner, I returned to my residence hall to find some of my classmates enjoying hot pot and mulled wine. They invited me to join and, despite being full, I sampled a little of both. The circuits were relatively uncooperative, so we wound up moving to the hallway and the printer room in a desperate attempt to keep making more food. I could only stay for about 45 minutes, because--while taking two full hours to eat dinner--I had been invited to watch Shrek. So, my Thanksgiving Day was finished while watching Shrek. I was very full and slightly tipsy and almost excessively jovial. 

The rest of my break was similarly pleasant. I puttered around my room, I worked on Capstone, I slept for inordinate amounts of time, and I spent time with my friends. I listened to Less by Andrew Sean Greer--a quiet travel book where nothing much happens, really. My break was a rejuvenating, if comparably unproductive, time.

Returning to the chaos of classes, a Capstone deadline, and hell week for the holiday play, was a bit of a rude awakening. However, I appear to have emerged unscathed. As Theatre Arts Club treasurer, I am delighted with how well tickets sold for the play, and, as an actor, I am glad that we had so much support from our classmates. While it was a bit odd to be playing a stage manager onstage after so many years of actually stage managing, I enjoyed acting after a long hiatus.

Now, I am in the midst of finals week. I have evolved to a point where, while I still procrastinate and struggle to finish my assignments, I am comparably unphased by academic stress. I know that I am capable of pulling myself together in order to get something done. In fact, while it may appear to be procrastination, my ideal writing scenario tends to be writing in an uninterrupted three hour sprint. I facilitate these writing sprints by getting my other tasks done, planning time to edit my written work, and remaining aware of the fact that I am almost exclusively motivated by deadlines.

Lately, it has occurred to me that I actually really love writing. I feel as though I have had my love of writing pummeled out of me by an educational system that requires constant written output on a deadline basis about topics that are not necessarily of interest to me. But, in reality, writing is my favorite mode of self-expression. Many of my favorite interactions happen via email, Facebook message, or Twitter replies. I love writing blog posts, contemplative prose, and questionable poetry. Sometimes, the process of crafting papers for school can be an absolute joy.

For now, I don't know what to do with this information. Is my love of writing simply a manifestation of a desire to talk about myself, and to be seen in some capacity? Am I a skilled writer? Will this interest evolve into or contribute to a money-making venture at some point, or should I keep writing as a quiet hobby in addition to my career?

Until the answer arrives, I will push through my finals and try to plan for the future as best I can.

Best wishes,

Lydia